The Claims Report (10/07/15)

WR Kamar Aiken

The Claims Report is a Wednesday feature that will analyze weekly waiver additions.

American Dream claimed WR Kamar Aiken ($14)

With Steve Smith suffering broken ribs — I’ve seen it referred to as “broken bones in the back,” which is considerably more terrifying — the passing options for Baltimore aren’t just limited. They’re bleak. As such, Kamar Aiken becomes Joe Flacco’s top target almost by default. He should hold that role until Breshad Perriman gets healthy and up to speed, but at this point, when is that going to happen?

Having said all that, I have a completely unfounded hunch that Marlon Brown puts up better Week 5 numbers. He should have inherently more familiarity with Flacco and he’s historically performed well against Joe Haden and the Browns’ secondary.

Beach Bums claimed QB Alex Smith ($8)

And with this, the Beach Bums have officially brought to a close the Robert Griffin III era. If it makes RG3 feel any better, Colin Kaepernick got cut for Alex Smith earlier this year. Womp womp.

Kitten Mittons claimed WR Stefon Diggs ($5)

I love this add. With a roster spot freeing up later this evening, my hope was that Stefon Diggs would slip through waivers unclaimed and could be added for free. Guess not.

In his first real action of the season this past week — playing in place of injured Charles Johnson and ahead of all-world underachiever Cordarrelle Patterson — Diggs racked up six catches for 87 and looked like Teddy Bridgewater’s preferred target. He fumbled twice too, but that’s a problem he can clean up. As long as Mike Zimmer doesn’t do the stupid coach thing where he punishes a young player eternally for a couple minor errors, Diggs should be fine.

A big time recruit out of high school, Diggs underachieved a bit at Maryland and had a reputation for occasionally taking plays off. He’s also had some injuries and at times was perceived to be trepidatious on the field, particularly in plays across the middle where he was vulnerable to getting popped. Again: things that can be cleaned up. Every young player needs refinement though. For Diggs, the positive arrows outweigh the negative ones.

Who’s Your Haddy? claimed QB Jay Cutler ($4)

Last year someone traded Blake Bortles, a first round pick (Nelson Agholor) and a second round pick (Jaelen “I Got Cut Already” Strong) for Jay Cutler.

This year, Jay Cutler was freely added to a roster for $4, which converted into players is three and a half Kamar Aikens, two Alex Smiths, or one Gary Barnidge.

Who’s Your Haddy? claimed TE Gary Barnidge ($4)

The frontrunner to be 2015’s Larry Donnell, Gary Barnidge is so far cashing in on Cleveland’s limited options and tiny, red zone averse receivers. Given the volatility of tight ends in general and the underwhelming nature of Eric Ebron’s existence thus far, Barnidge instantly becomes Haddy’s TE1.

Who’s Your Haddy? claimed DST Baltimore Ravens ($3)

Josh McCown is not good.

Capital City LLC claimed DST New York Giants ($3)

Colin Kaepernick may be even worse than Josh McCown.

Capital City LLC claimed RB Roy Helu

My man!

The good news for Roy “Freak Athlete” Helu is that his snap count jumped considerably this past week. The caveat is that his snap count was hovering around 0% previously, so pretty much anything would be an improvement.

Anyway, Helu juked some fool out of his shoes en route to a touchdown and played the entire fourth quarter after Latavius Murray coughed one up. The Raiders can’t possibly be stupid enough to demote Murray after one fumble (disclaimer: this team repeatedly handed footballs to Maurice Jones-Drew last year), but I do think they’ll start incorporating Helu a little bit more. I mean, aside from Amari Cooper, Helu is probably their second most explosive pass catcher.

Greased Up Deaf Guy claimed WR Ted Ginn

It genuinely depresses me that Ted Ginn is 30 years old. I can remember exactly where I was and who I was with when that son of a bitch Cam Cameron elected to draft Ginn instead of Brady Quinn. In some parallel universe, Quinn is a Dolphin and has a few MVPs and Super Bowl trophies to his name. I long for that universe.

Greased Up Deaf Guy claimed TE Derek Carrier

Jordan Reed is injured yet again, so it’s Derek Carrier time for the Redskins. Next man up*!

If nothing else, Carrier has an impressive athletic pedigree even if he lacks for experience and actual NFL production. If he gets Reed’s share of the targets, he’ll almost definitely produce fantasy points at a decent clip. If he ends up playing the role of the warm body and those targets instead get parsed out to Jamison Crowder and Pierre Garcon, then he probably won’t do much. I like the flier though.

* Where does “next man up” rank among the awful, cliched sports sayings? It’s got to be top-5, right? It’s not worse than “you can’t teach speed,” but it’s bad.

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